INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT 

Making Conversations Count – Episode Forty-Nine

Wendy Harris & Larry Long Jnr 

23rd September 2021

Timestamps

00:00:00: Introduction
00:02:30: Larry’s background
00:03:37: Dealing with failure
00:05:36: Motivational minute: don’t give up
00:06:53: You’ve got to have fun: YOLO!
00:07:59: Talking for a living
00:09:56: The value of sales
00:10:51: Conversation, not questions
00:12:28: Making an instant impression
00:16:31: Being a keynote speaker
00:18:33: You are what you eat
00:19:14: No time for negativity
00:21:21: Larry’s pivotal conversation
00:24:39: Fatherly advice
00:29:46: Embrace your failure
00:30:48: Final thoughts

Wendy Harris: Reasons to be cheerful, part one.  When things aren’t going your way, it’s easy to be demotivated.  We can get down, we can overthink things.  Goodness me, I know I’ve been there many a time.  This is why it’s really important to remember those reasons to be cheerful, and there are some tips for doing that.  Our guest today has some fabulous tips on how to stay motivated.  I promised you larger than life, Larry Long Jr, all the way from across the Pond from the Sunshine State.  He is going to bring his gold mic to the table today and give us some reasons to be cheerful, part one.  We’re making conversations about motivation count.

What’s new, Wendy Woo?  Well, what can I tell you?  The feedback that I’ve had from the Dragon scenario has been incredible; what an opportunity!  It’s really opened my eyes to a lot of things.  I’m going to be celebrating, so I have more than one reason to be cheerful.  More on part two next week in a special episode.

I’ve also got to remind you about a previous guest, Heidi Medina.  She tuned in to Rob Begg’s episode recently and here’s what she had to say, “So much resonating with me and a reminder for things I used to believe so much and had slipped away from.  Time to get the imagination kicking again and visualising that future I want.  It got me to Portugal before; now, I want the rest of it”.  Heidi, you can have it all.

Oh, and before I forget, Heidi’s put together a downloadable, on the show notes, on the makingconversationscount.com website, especially for you, the listeners, on the guest resources page.  Go over and check it out!

So, Larry, you used to sell software to accountants; what else have you done in your life?

Larry Long Jr: What else haven’t I done?  I’ve done it all, come on, Wendy!  I mean, I’ve been in software sales for a while, but I started off my career doing IT Consulting at a company called Accenture, and I learned so much.

Wendy Harris: Oh, they’re just a little-biddy company!

Larry Long Jr: A small start-up, I think!  I think I was employee number 1,750,000; I was a little blip on the radar, Larry who?!  But I worked there for a little over three years, I made a pivot, a huge transition.  I moved from Washington DC, Maryland, Virginia area down to North Carolina to open an indoor baseball and softball and rounders academy, teaching youngsters how to play the game, but more importantly, learn about life, life lessons through sport, through team sport.

Wendy Harris: Team building?

Larry Long Jr: Yes, that’s right.  You can learn so much goal setting, dealing with adversity, dealing with failure.  In the game of baseball —

Wendy Harris: Resilience?

Larry Long Jr: That’s it.  If you’re a 70% failure in the game of baseball, someone’s patting you on the back and you’re going to the hall of fame.  If you’re a 300 hitter, which means that 70% of the time, you are not successful, that’s a good thing.  It teaches you a lot about life and especially about sales, being able to overcome when things don’t work out your way.

Wendy Harris: Yeah, do you know, I was talking about this with somebody yesterday about the difference in culture between America and Britain.  America is like, “Embrace your failure!” whereas, in England, if it was somebody that had failed lots, we’d be going, “Just leave them alone.  Give up now.  Just go find something else to do”!

Larry Long Jr: Yeah, definitely a big difference.  It’s one of those things, and I’m so fortunate.  I’ve been in software sales for the majority of my career, after my baseball academy failed.  I’ve sold to CPAs, chartered accountants, I’ve sold to medical practices, I’ve sold to product managers, I’ve sold to elite athletic teams as Director of Collegiate Sales for a company called Teamworks.  I don’t know who your allegiance is, but our international team worked with Liverpool and Arsenal and some of those other EPL teams!

Wendy Harris: Oh, it’s only ever Aston Villa mentioned in our house!  And in part because his grandad used to play for them back in the early days, when they used to have hobnail boots and leather-bound balls that would break bones.  It’s interesting, isn’t it, that you’ve transitioned from there, and I see you do a lot of speaking events and stuff like that now.  Is it fundamentally because you’ve had this colourful career and you want to say to people, “Look, so long as you never give up trying, you can’t be a failure”?

Larry Long Jr: That’s it right there.  I do a midweek, midday motivational minute.  I’m giving you a little previous of today’s episode; we’re going to talk about we’re you’re at to your second half of the year goals.  And if you’re not where you’re at, don’t give up.  That’s one of my points that I’ve got up there that I want to share, just some encouragement with folks, because so many times, people give up when success is right around the corner.  It’s like, “Hey, if you had just pushed on, if you had just pressed on and kept going, the world is your oyster, but you gave up, you tapped out.  And if you tap out, you’ve got no chance”.

Wendy Harris: Well, in the words of Forrest, “The world is our lobster”, or shrimp!  Wasn’t it Churchill that said, “When you find yourself in darkness and surrounded by fear, the only thing to do is to keep going, get through it”?  You’ve got to get to the other side of it. 

Larry Long Jr: That’s it.

Wendy Harris: You’re talking to somebody, I mean I’ve had two limited companies, third in the makings, franchise failure.  Do you know; it’s all a journey.

Larry Long Jr: And it’s an adventure where, if you step into my shoes, Wendy, it’s a misadventure; but hey, we’re having fund the entire way, and that’s another point that I’ve got, is that you’ve got to have fun!  I think the millennials, they say something called YOLO, and I had to look in the dictionary; you only live once!  Well, guess what, I live on a yoyo, going up and down on a Tuesday; so, we’re having fun along the way, we’re living, we’re learning and we’re loving everything that we do.

Wendy Harris: This has got to be where we’ve got to be in the moment, isn’t it?  Today, now, this is great; this is what’s happening.

Larry Long Jr: Carpe diem: seize the day each and every moment.  And I know we’re going to talk about conversations that count; my theme really revolves around seizing each and every moment, because tomorrow’s not promised.  We’re all running a race and we don’t know when our finish line is coming, so we better make sure that we take care of our business right now, right here, each and every moment.

Wendy Harris: No regrets, right?

Larry Long Jr: That’s right, so true.  And I made a recent transition, so I’ve been in software sales leadership; I’m now rocking the mic as a full-time keynote speaker as of 26 March.  I’m full time as a speaker, as a coach and as a trainer.  I’m living the dream.  I have to pinch myself each and every morning to say, “Is this real?  I get to talk for a living?”  I used to get in trouble for talking.  My teachers were, “Hey, Larry, shut up!”  Now I get a paycheque to talk!

Wendy Harris: I know exactly what you mean!  People have said to me recently, “What’s going on?”  I’m like, “I love doing my podcast”.  I love it and I could just do it all the time; that’s all I want to do.  But really seriously, since 1989, I have been talking to strangers for a living and I’ve loved it and I’m so good at it, I’m still doing it!  And I want to help people do that for themselves, I want them to have that confidence, even if it comes to that you are that confident that you copy me and you’re in the queue at the supermarket checkout and you start talking to the person in front and behind.

I’ve done it where those people have actually known people and they’re related and they didn’t know, and it’s because I struck up a conversation.

Larry Long Jr: It’s amazing.

Wendy Harris: Six degrees of separation; no, it’s got to be less than that now, right?  Conversation has always counted for you, being in sales, having to find out what people’s needs are and matching those.  Sales is one of those gigs that sets you up for every situation, doesn’t it?

Larry Long Jr: Well, sales is in every aspect of our life, whether you have the title or not, you’re selling.  If you’ve got kids, you’re selling; if you’re in a relationship, oh, you’re selling; if you’re going to an interview, you’d better be selling if you want to get that job.  But so many times, sales gets this negative connotation, “Oh, no, not sales!”

Wendy Harris: “It’s ick!”

Larry Long Jr: That’s actually my keynote speech, “Sales is not a four-letter word; it’s not a naughty word”.  Sales is a great thing if you’re doing it the right way.  And like you said, conversations, that’s a two-way street.  When I think about communication and conversation, we’ve been blessed with two ears and one mouth for a reason.  My theme for 2021, I don’t know if you can tell this, “Ssh, listen”.

Wendy Harris: Yeah.  I had a guest come on and shared the episode and said, “Wendy’s a great host, she just let me talk”!  I didn’t, honestly, I just was a good listener at drawing out the right thing, and that’s kind of what a conversation’s about, right?  This morning, I had a zoom call, and there was a young apprentice and his boss, and they said, “We’re doing some training, but we thought we’d check you out as well”.  I thought, okay, and I knew exactly who they were using; I knew their methods.  It’s my job to know that, right?

I just said, “Well, you’re going to do the same stuff, but you’re going to do it my way”, that was the difference.  And they said, “Well, you know, it’s not about talking about the product or anything like that, it’s about asking all the right questions”.  I went, “Is it?  How many questions have you got?”  The fingers were going up, etc.  It was like the Bible questions, the what, how, when, where, why and all this, and I was like, “Really?”  I ask one question and I’m not going to tell you what that question is, but the rest of it’s a conversation.  That’s my way.

Larry Long Jr: That’s right, conversations, making them count, and they definitely hold so much weight.  And I think that this pandemic has shown the power of conversations, which is the genesis of relationships.  In a relationship, you’ve got to have conversation.

Wendy Harris: Yeah, and it’s like the dating apps.  If you go onto a dating app and you’re looking for a partner, you’re looking for a little love, you’re going to make an instant judgement, aren’t you?  So, isn’t that the same in a business world, where you go onto the likes of LinkedIn or Facebook, depending on where it is that you’re shopping around, checking people out, stalking them a little!  Isn’t it a tiny bit? 

But you will, you’re going to go and you’re going to make those judgement calls.  It’s the same, because that’s the basis that we have.  And, much the same as starting a conversation, if you can’t do that jumping off the page, you’ve got, what, seven seconds to make an impression?

Larry Long Jr: That’s right, if even.

Wendy Harris: Yeah.  I asked another guest, Kim, she’s a great leadership coach, she goes into boardrooms, and she sorts the men out, it’s brilliant, she’s ace and she’s a good mate.  And I said to her, and I’ll ask you the same question, how long do you think it takes before somebody’s decided whether they’re going to use you or not?

Larry Long Jr: They make an instant judgement very quickly.  I’d say less than 120 seconds; less than 2 minutes.

Wendy Harris: Yeah, I agree.  I said, “For the sake of argument, we’ll give an estimate of about five minutes”.  Within about five minutes, and you’ve done all the pleasantries of meeting each other and, “How are you?” and the weather and this and that, because that’s how it goes, and in five minutes you’ve decided whether you actually like that person enough to take that relationship to the next base.

Larry Long Jr: That’s right.

Wendy Harris: Then, we go and talk ourselves out of that decision, don’t we, because logic kicks in and we have to unpick it and make sure that we made the right decisions for logical reasons.  But honestly, in five minutes, that’s the gig.

Larry Long Jr: The emotions, the trust.  I mean, you hear all the time, KLT, people buy from people they know, they like, and they trust.  And then they back that decision up with the logic, with the data that supports it.  But I would say that people make judgements pretty quickly.  Then, from there, you can either continue to build equity, or you can leak, and you can lose it and then be gone.

Wendy Harris: So, I think a real skill for anybody, because we are all in sales, we’ve established this already, is to know when you’re not going to get a home run, isn’t it?  Isn’t that what one of the problems is, that we’ll still try to force that square peg in the round hole, because on paper we know you need it, and I need the target and I’m going to make you have it; just move on.

Larry Long Jr: That’s what the best sales professionals do.  They realise, they qualify very strongly, as well as very quickly.  And they qualify as well as disqualify and they say, “You know what?  No, not going to happen right now”.  One of the best I’ve ever seen, young lady named Sonia McBride, one of the best.  She asked the tough questions, even via the phone.  She would look the prospect in the eye and say, like you said, “You know within five minutes whether we’re going to be working together.  Will we be working together?”

Wendy Harris: Yeah, that silence that everybody has to fill.  That’s a golden mic lesson right there!

Larry Long Jr: And we’re going to have the mic on you!

Wendy Harris: So, conversations, what’s it like being a keynote speaker and you being the one doing all the talking?

Larry Long Jr: I love it.  But contrary to belief, I’m not the one doing all the talking, and I think that’s what makes a great keynote speaker, is to be engaging, but also to be interactive.  Folks don’t like to be, “Aargh“.  I mean, I can go to a lecture, I can go back to university if I want a lecture, “And today, we’re going to learn about 1820”; no!  Let me get involved in the midst.

Wendy Harris: I don’t know about 1820!

Larry Long Jr: It was a good year.  But I absolutely love just being able to have a positive impact, and that’s really what caused me to make the jump.  There was a lot of fear, uncertainty and doubt in my mind, but I said, “Hey, Larry, this is really what you need to be doing”.  For me, this is God’s plan, for me to be out there impacting people in a positive way.  That’s really the legacy that my father passed along to me.  He was a track athlete, so he essentially passed that baton on to me. 

I’m now passing that baton to my kids, my family, my friends, my colleagues, acquaintances; anyone that I touch, I’m trying to have a positive impact in their life, because whether you know it or not, you’ve having an impact on people with each interaction.  It’s either going to be here, two thumbs up, or it’s going to be here, two thumbs down.  Essentially, I make a choice, and I’m going to make that thing positive.

Wendy Harris: I absolutely agree.  Through lockdown, there was an awful lot of stuff that I had to keep scrolling past, because if you let it, it will bring you down.  And my positive action every day was, I shared a cartoon to make people smile.  If people didn’t see it at the right time every morning, they were messaging me, “Where’s your cartoon today?”

Larry Long Jr: I love it.  And, Wendy, you’re so true.  You are what you eat, and I’m not talking about food, because I love to eat.  But essentially, you are what you eat.  What books are you reading?  What podcasts are you listening to?  What people are you surrounding yourself with?  What are you feeding your mind, your body and your soul on a daily basis, and what are you putting out there? 

What you put out is generally what you receive, so if you’re a negative Nancy, a negative Nelly, like Sweet Georgia Brown; you’ll have to google Sweet Georgie Brown.  She said, “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”

Wendy Harris: I haven’t got time for negativity.  My dad was a procrastinator, and it would drive me mental.  Somebody said, “Oh, was he a ruminator?” and I had to Google what ruminating was, because I just thought, “Is that somebody who just walks into the room and terminates it?  I don’t know”, because he wasn’t that at all.  He was a lovely, lovely man, but he would just drive you mad with the same problem and talk about it over and over and over again.  And it didn’t matter how many times you’d try and solve the problem, give suggestions, here’s advice, here’s opinion, here’s a this, still stuck on the same thing.

I was just, “I can’t talk to you about it anymore, because you’re not going to change, and my advice has run out”.  Be the change that you want, isn’t it?  If you’re moaning about it, change it, or move away.

Larry Long Jr: That’s right.  It’s controlling the controls and only you can make it happen.  Now, you can use support, but essentially — I use an acronym called EAT, and as I’m trying to cut down on EAT, I’ll call it TEA!  In my case, I’m in North Carolina, we drink not hot tea, but cold sweet tea.  You can control how you treat other people, you can control your emotions, and then the “A”, you can control your actions and your attitude.  Outside of that, I can’t control other people, I can’t control outside influences, but I can control what happens right here in this aura.

Wendy Harris: There’s something to be said for being in a bubble.  Somebody said to me the other day, “I’m going to tell you something”.  I said, “Don’t burst my bubble.  I am quite happy in the knowledge that I’ve got, thank you.  If it’s going to burst my bubble, keep it to yourself”!

Larry Long Jr: Don’t rain on my parade!

Wendy Harris: I know; I don’t want it!  Now, conversation being so important, and clearly mindset, motivation, positivity is all, you know, I’m vibed out.  I think it’s only right to say to you, “Right, I want to know what this conversation was that you had that created a turning point”, because it could be anything, and we’ve not discussed it before.  Just tell everybody, this is top secret stuff, isn’t it?  I’ve thrown away the key!  But I need you to spill now.

Larry Long Jr: Are you ready?

Wendy Harris: I’m locked and loaded.

Larry Long Jr: So, this one, and I appreciate it because it didn’t take me long to really determine that this is a conversation.  Let’s rewind back to 10 December 2015.  My father, Larry Long, I’m Larry Long Jr; my father was getting treatment in Boston for a disease called amyloidosis, it’s cancer of the blood.  And, he had a scare over Thanksgiving, my sister and I flew up to be with him and he made it through Thanksgiving.  But 10 December, I spoke to him.  My kids called him Pops.  I said, “How are you feeling, Pops?”

Wendy Harris: My dad was a Pop!  Oh, man!

Larry Long Jr: Small world; great minds think alike!  I said, “How are you feeling, Pops?”  He said, “Best I’ve ever felt”.  He passed away on 11 December 2015.  That was a bald-faced lie that he told.  And really, my takeaways, there are a lot.  But my top two takeaways: number one, positivity is a choice and it’s your choice.  My father grew up in the projects, he grew up in the ghetto of Baltimore City, the only one from his family to graduate high school.  And essentially, he had to talk himself up to be able to have success in life.

He went to college.  On the track, he was a long-jumper, triple jumper, we got the Olympics going on, I love this time of year, it brings back so many great memories.  But the mind is powerful, and positivity — there’s a quote by Henry Ford, “Whether you think you can, or whether you think you can’t, you’re right”.  So, my dad was trying to psych his mind up to have an impact on his body to say, “This is the best I’ve ever felt”, even though it wasn’t.

Now, number two, and this is tough one, he was trying to protect me, my kids, my wife, my sister, my mum who was there with him; he was looking out for us to not worry about him.  And to think about that selflessness, that intentionality that, “I don’t want you to worry about me.  You focus on you; I’m going to be okay”, is just touching.  So, I take that baton from him and every day, positivity is a choice.  And then, how can I impact someone else’s life for the positive; that’s what I’m all about.

It’s in his honour, it’s taking his example, but that conversation, huge impact on me.

Wendy Harris: I would say it’s similar to my dad.  I lost him 24 December, Christmas Eve, 2008.  My youngest daughter was four months old.  I wasn’t able to spend a lot of time with him, because I was pregnant and the treatment that he was having would affect me, or potentially my daughter.  He ended up in a hospice. 

He went home from hospital one time, and then family members were looking after him.  My brother was looking after him and he did a fabulous job.  My youngest sister came to help my brother; it wasn’t really a help.  My dad rang me and went, “Can you get me out of here?  I need to get out of here, they’re driving me mad”, and it caused an argument, because it was, “Oh, here’s Wendy, come to flipping interfere”, etc.  I went, “No.  Have you listened to your dad?  Our dad is saying that he doesn’t want what you’re offering, so I’m here to make sure he gets what he wants, because there’s no going back from this”.

I remember, he was high on morphine, and he was in the last days.  My dad was a smoker to the end.  He was in his early 60s when he passed away, so no real age.  And it was so funny that he was still smoking, pretend, on his bed, and he was smoking.  I just went to him, “Hey!” and he went, “What?” and I put my hand out for the ash.  “Sorry”, he said, over my hand with his pretend cigarette.

His last words to me, because this was the last visit that I had with him, and I don’t like to swear, but I can’t avoid that this was his last phrase to me, “Wendy, don’t take no [bleep]”.

Larry Long Jr: Love it!

Wendy Harris: He knew what I was susceptible, and he was, “You’ve got to stop taking it”, and he’s in here all the time.  So, our dads know what that precious gift is that they pass on to us.  So, yeah, look at me!

Larry Long Jr: Me too!

Wendy Harris: For the listeners, yeah, you’ve gone a deeper shade.

Larry Long Jr: I’m turning purple; Papa Smurf!

Wendy Harris: It’s highly emotive, but do you know what?  It doesn’t make me upset anymore.  I do get emotional.  I could sense when you were speaking, it’s an emotional thing.  But it doesn’t upset me, it doesn’t make me cry or anything like that.  It’s actually like he’s stuck a steel rod up my backside and said, “Here you go, this is what you need.  You have this now to take you forward”.

Larry Long Jr: I love it; it’s a blessing.  I can tell you don’t take no [bleep].

Wendy Harris: Not anymore!  I really try not to.  I can be known, I have my moments of weakness.  We’re all human, we must remember that we’re human and we are susceptible to certain “leakages”; let’s call them that.

Larry Long Jr: That’s right, we live, and we learn.

Wendy Harris: We do.  That’s a beautiful story.  Thank you, Larry.  It’s testament to what you were saying about, you are what you eat.  You’ve got a big bite out of your papa!

Larry Long Jr: I’ve been so blessed.  It’s one of those things where things happen to us in life and the big question is, what are you going to do about it?  I’ve had a failed business, which made me gun-shy to go out on my own, because it’s tough.  When you have a business that you pour your heart, your soul, your everything into and it doesn’t work, it’s like, “Uh oh, do I want to go down this road again?” 

But then that voice of my dad comes down.  He says, “Go for it.  You can’t have my name with an attitude of weakness, with being meek.  No, be strong, believe in yourself and give it your all; that’s all you can do, is give it your all and what’s meant to be will be”.  What I’ve learned is, my business failing before, that was a lesson.  That was one of the building blocks to help me in the place that I’m in today and to help me help others with wherever they are that, “Hey, life isn’t all sunshine and roses and rainbows”.

Wendy Harris: Oh, it’s not rainbows and unicorns, no.  And a good point there though, Larry, really.  You know we were saying earlier, “Embrace your failure”?  Well, yes, so long as you learn the lesson.  You’re going to be stuck in embracing failure and you’re just going to be attracting more failure if you get stuck in there, if you don’t learn the lesson; that’s the key point.  You’ve got to be able to move on from that.

So, question for you.  You’ve got kids, right?

Larry Long Jr: Yes, an 11-year-old son, a 7-year-old daughter.

Wendy Harris: Another Larry?

Larry Long Jr: Yes, Larry Long III; that’s my little “Trey-Trey”.  We call him Hurricane Trey; he’s a piece of work.  He must get it from his mama!

Wendy Harris: I was going to say, there’s going to be a high-velocity collaboration there!  Larry, I can only thank you for your high energy, for the lessons that you’ve shared today, it’s been an absolute pleasure.  My face aches, I’ve laughed so much.  It’s brought back some wonderful memories for me, and I’m sure the listeners will be counting their blessings too.

Larry Long Jr: I certainly hope so.  Wendy, I can’t thank you enough.  The privilege and the pleasure is all mine.  I’m just fortunate and blessed to have met you, an amazing person.  Thank you, Wendy.

Wendy Harris: No, thank you.  Larry, if everybody wants to keep on the conversation, I encourage people to carry on the conversation, don’t just listen, get involved, reach out, where’s the best place for them to find you?

Larry Long Jr: There’s two places: follow me on LinkedIn, I’m maxed out on connections.  30,000 is the limit, but follow me on LinkedIn, send me a message and we can communicate and keep the conversation going; or, you can always find me at my website, larrylongjr.com.  Happy to engage with you either of those places.

Wendy Harris: Now, is it “junior” in full, or “jr”?

Larry Long Jr: Jr, yes, Larry Long Jr.

Wendy Harris: I really hope you feel like you know Larry.  I feel like I know Larry.  Larry is a fabulous guy.  Do carry on the conversation with him.  He’s got some great tips, and of course it all sings back to resilience and those misadventures that sometimes we have.  Carry on the conversation.  Larry’s written a letter to listeners; it’s on the website, makingconversationscount.com, and he’s also put together a free download for you on his top five motivating tips for success.  So, reasons to be cheerful part two next week.