The McDonalds movie “The Founder” and that thing June Martino said to EA Csolkovits that will teach you all about GIVERS and takers!

What can the McDonalds movie "The Founder" teach you about being one of the world's GIVERS?

Have you seen the McDonalds movie “The Founder” with Michael Keaton? Years before it was written, this week’s guest was a teenager asking the story’s central character, June Martino, a simple question. 

 

After listening to or reading this episode you’ll know how McDonalds icon June Martino helped our guest to become one of the world’s biggest GIVERS!

 

We’re making conversations about discernible deeds count, with EA Csolkovits – Episode 83!

 

EA tells us the real life story of the McDonalds movie “The Founder” and how one conversation with a millionaire icon led to him finding his own ‘Ray Kroc’!

 

 

Marketing entrepreneur Joe Pulizzi

Big take-away quote from this conversation about discernible deeds with a man who can tell us the true story behind the movie “The Founder” – EA Csolkovits:

“So I just threw it out there. Where would I find my Ray Kroc? Where would he be? Where would I meet him? ….”

EA Csolkovits, Making Conversations Count – (May 2022)

(Hard of hearing? Transcript here).

Strapped for data? You can hear a lower-bandwidth version of the episode here.) 

 

Who is EA Csolkovits?

EA Csolkovits is an entrepreneur, business consultant, writer, and the founder of Givers University.

EA set up Givers University which helps people with recognising those who are doing discernible deeds and helps them to reach their own goals. The Junto was also founded as a part of Givers University, which is a community of like-minded people that will serve, not just take away!

The Junto provides an education on the 25 Dues, which you can use as a free resource. More on all of this later.

Scroll down to continue reading this episode in which EA Csolkovits shares the truth behind the story in the McDonalds movie “The Founder“!

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Givers University - McDonalds movie The Founder

How is EA Csolkovits connected to the story of the McDonalds movie “The Founder”?

When he was 16, EA Csolkovits took a job that might be considered typical of any 16-year-old boy at the time.

He became a janitor. And that job would lead to something remarkable.

It wasn’t that the job was particularly remarkable.

Other than the fact he was able to get insurance and so had the necessary equipment to do some higher end jobs, he was still being a janitor.

No, it was one of his clients that proved to be remarkable. As was a conversation he had with her.

After a conversation with McDonalds icon June Martino, EA Csolkovits life was destined to change for ever.

McDonalds movie The Founder

The question EA asked June Martino

When EA Csolkovits asked June Martino to explain the story of Ray Kroc and how his ambition and building of the McDonalds empire had led to the house she now lived in, she did.

And for most, that would have been enough.

But not for EA.

He wanted to dive deeper.

Here’s a short excerpt of the episode’s transcript.

“So I just asked her, I said, June, why did you do it? I said, I’m 16 years old and I’m a janitor. I work paycheck to paycheck.

If I don’t get my check on Friday, I’m not showing on Saturday.

I need my check.

Why did you work for nothing?

I would never do that.

And right then Wendy, she stared at me with this blank look on her face, eyeball to eyeball, and I realised she just left the room even though she’s staring at me.

And here I am, I’m 16 years old and I’m talking to June Martino, the icon.

Everyone knew who she was in the area when I met her.

As she’s staring at me, I’m going because it seemed like 30 minutes was like maybe 15 seconds.

But I realised I just asked her a question no one ever asked her before.

Everyone wanted to know what happened, but no one wanted to know why.

And I just asked her, why did you do it?

And when she spoke it made the hair stand up on the back of my neck, I still remember what she said, the way she said it.

And my first thought right after she made the statement.

When I asked her, June, why did you do it? Why did you work for nothing? She answered…”

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EA’s need to find his Ray Kroc

With that conversation, EA Csolkovits knew he had to emulate the story of the McDonalds movie “The Founder” and find his own Ray Kroc.

And he managed it.

“So I met this man. He offered me a job, and he became the father I never had.

Even though I had a father, I became the son he never had, even though he had a son.

And he became my true mentor.

And I was so blessed to have him in my life for so many years. And I can share with you that he was a pure genius. And because of that relationship, I became a huge advocate for mentoring. And I tell people, I say, if you don’t have a mentor in my world, we call that naive.

That’s what we call it. And when you find a mentor, find someone who has done it. Not one of the thousands of educated idiots I’ve met over my life. All them educated idiots, they have all the book knowledge, all the information.

They can spew it all back to you. Zero implementation, zero execution skills they’ve never done. It just that simple.

When you hire an educated idiot, all you’re doing is paying for their education because they don’t know what, they haven’t done it yet.”

Quote from episode – click here for full transcript

McDonalds movie The Founder

How EA applies his learnings from Ray Kroc to GIVERS!

EA Csolkovits applied his learning from his experiences to shape his decision to launch Givers University.

In summary, this is set up to identify communities of people who are doing good, and giving, rather than just taking.

And it’s managed in a way that keeps it fair and balanced.

“Givers always bring with them the three W’s of a giver, which is wisdom, wealth, and wellness, or when I see them doing certain deeds, I’m watching them do these things.

I’m not listening to what they’re saying. I’m watching their deeds from that. Should I now begin to discern and respectfully, not rude or nasty, respectfully, begin to distance myself?

Because if I bring them in closer, they’re going to run havoc on my life. And I ask your readers, think about all the times you stomp out fires. Think about all the times that your stress level goes up. They have something in common. There’s a name attached to them.

And if we could learn the skill of how to discern in our relationships of who those people are. So when we say giver, we’re not labeling a person because we don’t label people. We’re identifying giver deeds when we say giver, when we say taker.

So we don’t identify a person as a taker. We’re identifying taker deeds.” 

Quote from episode – click here for full transcript

You’ll learn….

 

In this episode of “Making Conversations Count”, in which EA Csolkovits shares his wealth of wisdom around how to be the best marketing entrepreneur, covers:

  • EA’s connection to the movie “The Founder
  • What “The Founder” depicted accurately
  • The question EA asked June Martino
  • EA’s need to find his Ray Kroc
  • How EA applies his learnings from Ray Kroc to GIVERS!

So, Wendy’s takeaway from the conversation in this episode about the McDonalds movie “The Founder” and discernible deeds with EA Csolkovits?…

“Having only just watched the McDonalds movie “The Founder” at the weekend, EA Csolkovits’ story really did grab me and enthral me. We’ve thrown the format out of the window for this one and I think it’s been so worth it!

I’ll be saying more about this at the weekend in the bonus “Carrying on the Conversation” episode, but the fact that he had a conversation with McDonalds icon June Martino that ultimately changed his life is mind blowing.

This is literally the kind of stuff I’m teaching clients through my business WAG Associates on a daily basis. I literally say this. “You never know where a conversation might lead”! And this story is absolute proof of that.”

Carry on the conversation with EA:
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Please do let us know your take-aways from this episode by leaving a comment at https://makingconversationscount.studio/Review-EA-Csolkovits

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“Making Conversations Count” is a podcast from WAG Associates founder and telemarketing trainer Wendy Harris.

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Click this box to read the full Episode Transcript - Conversation around etiquette and manners - "Making Conversations Count"

Blaine Oelkers

You’ll read about:

 

You’ll hear:

 

Blaine and his TEDx Talk (1m02s)

Chief Results Officer? (3m47s)

Observations of business owners and entrepreneurs who struggle with results (12m19s)

Change doesn’t happen quickly enough but stick at it because it’s worth it! (23m25s)

Blaines’s conversation that counts (30m13s)

 

Blaine and his TEDx Talk (1m02s)

Wendy

We all have these little idiosyncrasies that we like to hang on to... 21 seconds... an hour. If I was to say to my daughter, you've got all day to tie to your bedroom, guess what? It takes her all day to tidy her bedroom. So it's got to be the same in business. If you tell me I've only got 20 minutes to do something, I'll get it done with spare time!

 

Blaine

Yes. Everything from when people argue for the limitations they get to keep them, to it's the lens that you look through that actually creates your life. So I call it the lens of the future, but that is so key. And then finding practical ways to program the subconscious mind to help you. Right. I did a TEDx Talk where I asked people to change the unlock screen on their phone. And so now, for years, I've been getting great feedback from people saying that made a big difference in their life. So whatever you're trying to bring about, you put that on your unlock screen. You can also have your family stuff, and then you can make a customized image. But many people have nothing. They have, like, the default unlock screen, which is interesting, but you see that screen, you unlock your phone 60 to 150 times a day. So it's a real strong way to keep putting what you want to bring about, what you think about what you bring about. It's a way to program that subconscious, but it's super powerful, and you're so right. That how you see it creates the reality. And if people get that, that's a big breakthrough.

 

Wendy

Confession time. I did the unlock screen on my phone, and it was a picture of myself in actual fact, when I felt that I looked the best, I was slimmer, no Covid pounds. And it has been working because initially I was looking at it and thinking, this is I really don't like this. But it has had an impact. It's changed with what I eat, the what I drink, the getting up and moving more. So I'd say to anybody, just give it a try!

 

Blaine

 

Yeah. Agreed. A lot of this stuff is self evident. Just try it for a little while. And you may not see it consciously, but your subconscious mind is still seeing it. And maybe you change it. Maybe you turn it to the side or you add some words to it. You can also kind of mix it up. I like to mix mine up every couple of weeks, but it's having the same core thing on there,

 

Chief Results Officer? (3m47s)

 

Wendy

No, it is interesting. So what got you to become the chief Results officer then, Blaine?

 

Blaine

So, for me, there were two moments of dawning comprehension where the world changes almost on a single thought. And for me, the first one came in college. I went to Purdue University in West Lafayette, Indiana, and I've always been kind of maybe like you and the listeners. I've been a little bit of a seeker, a seeker of knowledge. How can I do better? What could I do better? And so I saw this ad for an audio cassette tape. So I'm kind of dating myself. This was back in the 80s, but when I went to college and I sent away for this audio cassette, which was an abridged version of "Think and Grow Rich", it was actually this guy Earl Nightingale reading "Think and Grow Rich". And I got that audio tape, and then I subsequently purchased the book, and I realised there that "Think and Grow Rich". Now, the book is about Think and Grow Rich, but the riches can be anything. It could be financial, he talks about that, but it could be harmonious relationships, your health. And that's where this concept of what you think about you bring about. That was where I first got that. And I realized, now, wait a second, I'm in a lot more control than I realized. And I had a lot of success because of that initial reading of that book. And actually, I met my wife. We've been married 30 years, so I met her.

 

Wendy

Congratulations.

 

Blaine

Yes. That was kind of the first thing that started me on the journey there and started kind of taking control of myself a little bit more. But then the big change, the big dawning comprehension moment number two. I came back from a business trip, my degree's in computer science, I was working as a software engineer, and I came back from this long business trip, and my son Beau, he was one year old, and he was, like, giving me the cold shoulder when I came back. And I said, hey, Beth, what's going on? What's wrong with Beau here? And she said, well, you were gone so long, he kind of forgot who you were. And I was like, what? I mean, that hit me emotionally pretty hard at night. And I realized when I was a kid, I'd come home to an empty house. Both my parents worked. And so that night I had this moment of dawning comprehension, and I made a clarifying decision. Now, when you make a clarifying decision, it kind of like, cuts out a lot of other decisions, cuts out a lot of noise and really focuses you almost like a laser on one thing. And that decision was that I was going to be a work from home dad. And so it took me a year. It took me a year to get there because we were kind of conservative and wanted to save up enough money and have living expenses in the bank. But anyway, a year later, my wife said, if you can make more on your side hustle thing, whatever you're doing here from home, and you make more money at that than you do from the job or even the same, then you can go, you can cut away the job. So I did that. So it took me a year, but I did that and I left my job. And that was 27 years ago. And so for the last 27 years, I've been working from home, running businesses that really have no daily operations. So I've been able to do a lot of self development and that's what led me on the course to become the Chief Results Officer. I started helping people. I created a company called Selfluence, which is really kind of the art and science of influencing yourself. But more than that, it's the power that you already have to influence yourself. You don't need any special software, you don't have to buy anything else. You have it all kind of within you. And I started helping a lot of mastermind groups and they said, hey, you're helping us get results every week. We're going to call you the Chief Results Officer. I'm like. Oh, I like that. So I like the title. I took the title and then I went to the US Patent Office and I registered the title. So now I can say I'm America's only Chief Results officer. But anyway, I've been doing that and I think that's why I'm here. I think God has me on the planet to help people take control of their lives by taking control of themselves. So that's what I've been doing. Now, pretty much 27 years from home, kids are out of the nest now, so I have a lot more time to serve clients than I did before, but I really do enjoy it.

 

Wendy

What a benefit for Beau, really? And gosh, we say this so often on this show is that there are things that you can do that can help and aid us, but ultimately it comes back to self. It doesn't matter. So you're saying that you decided to do something. Reminds me of Rob Begg who's a past guest as well. He's also a mindset expert and he says if you decide, you've also got to commit and that's effectively what you've done. So there's a lot of entrepreneurs out there that I think they decide that they're going to work for themselves, but they don't commit. Do you see that it goes hand in hand?

 

Blaine

I do. And I think there's a third component, and that is the action right there. There's a famous joke. Three birds are sitting on a tree, one decides to fly off. How many birds are left? And the audience typically says two, but no three. One made a decision, but they didn't fly off, they didn't take the action right. So I think what you think about, you bring about that. It's a combination of you make the decision right, and then you need to commit to that decision, but your commitment shows up in action. And so it's the action steps you take that kind of determine if it's real or not. And I will say that many decisions and desires kind of die on the vine because they're not strong enough for that person. And you can tell they're not strong enough if they don't want to wake up early, stay up late, and really put the action behind it. Right? And that's where you see the people really begin to move forward, because it's even taking the action. Even if you're going in the wrong direction, at least you're moving. They say you can't steer a parked car. You got to be moving. You got to take action. And it's in the action that really you kind of learn more about it, and then it can either grow, or you might realize that you're heading in the wrong direction. But that's okay, because it's in the knowing of where you're going. That's the fun part. And I like to tell people, you can't change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction. So if you figure out where you want to go, you can point in that direction and then start to move there. But in turning and facing, like, whatever it is you really want in life, you're going to feel the energy chemically. You're going to get excited about it, you're going to feel it.

 

Wendy

It's a bit like stepping out into the sunshine, isn't it, and feeling it on your face. It is that much of an impact. But that's great course correction, isn't it? If we have these navigation systems built in, we are also tied to the magnetic force. So why do you think we have moved away so far from what comes naturally to us? Blaine, what's your take on that?

 

Blaine

When you can get back to these core things? It feels good, it feels right. But today, more so than any time in the history of the world, is that there are so many distractions, and the level of distractions are so high. And everybody that I know has one of these, which is a smartphone, a cell phone. And so that can be like the greatest tool of productivity or the most evil distraction machine known to man or woman. For me, it's the level of distractions number one, and the loss of think time. That would probably be number two. Of time where you are... it's almost like more shower time, where there's no phones, there's no electronics, there's no outside world. People need more of that. I tell them, your phone has airplane mode. That's not just for airplanes. You can use it during the week, too. But I think lack of Think Time and distractions are the two things that pull you away, maybe even from who you are, who you want to be, your self development. So switching, that is possible, right? So switching, removing distractions. Right. So my family isn't super happy about it, but I've removed all the rings. Dings and dings. My phone never rings. If I'm expecting a call, maybe I'll look for that. But typically, I never answer the phone, and I've really cut down the distractions, number one. And then number two is I put a lot of think time back into my day and into my life and I think that makes a big difference.

 

Observations of business owners and entrepreneurs who struggle with results (12m19s)

 

Wendy

What's your observation then, Blaine, of working with entrepreneurs and business owners that are struggling with that productivity and getting the results that they need? What's the first place that you sort of get them to be doing something slightly different?

 

Blaine

I serve primarily business owners and the number one problem is overwhelm. Too many things to do and they're typically a day behind or more than a day behind things. And so what I like to do is first of all, show them that there is something to go after and I call it a day ahead. And so I like to take entrepreneurs from being a day behind to just being behind to being caught up, to being ahead to being a day ahead. And there is this thing, I call it the day ahead lifestyle which I live most days now, not every day, but most days I'm a day ahead. So when I wake up there may be some appointments like this podcast, but all the to-do's are done. Like I have no to-do's for the day and I'm working on tomorrow's to-do's. And so this concept of moving into that just first of all know that it's possible to be a day ahead. And my wife is back in school now getting a master's degree and she likes to be a week or two weeks ahead on homework and other things so you can get there. But the first thing is you've got to handle the overwhelm. And so typically what I see that works the best is to do some kind of a mind dump of all these things that you have to do. Now if you just do a mind dump alone, you're going to be more overwhelmed but guide them through. So get out a piece of paper and start to write down what are all the things that are top of mind. They're swimming around, oh, I've got to do this for this client or I got to do that. I've got these appointments, I've got to do this with the products, whatever it is. You have all these things swimming around and write all those things down and spend at least 15 minutes doing that and then take maybe a five minute break and then come back, maybe go a little bit deeper. Also, sometimes I provide a lot of prompts, a lot of questions to kind of pull more and more stuff out of your head and get it on paper. So the last time I did that in a big way, I ended up with 453 items on my list.

 

Wendy

Wow!

 

Blaine

Super overwhelming. Look out. Yikes. But the key is that you must immediately process the list. So it's in the immediate processing of the list that the overwhelm begins to subside. Because what I mean by processing the list is that you put an end next to things you can do now, something that takes less than five minutes. If it's a bigger project, I also say, look, why don't you write to the right of it? What's the next step on that? It might just be scheduled meeting with so and so, send somebody an email, something that's quick and fast. But you write an N next to those things that you can do now, and then you write an S next to things that need to be scheduled. They need to be done in the next, let's say, a week or so. And then D is next to things that you can delegate, you can give to someone else. Not that you're going to do it, but you could do it. It's possible to delegate. And then L, which should be the most used letter of all, stands for later. And those are things that are not pressing, let's say, in this week. Now, sometimes people do it just for the day. Like, what am I going to do today? Some people might do it for a month or a quarter. But one of those things that you can let go a little bit, you can put on the later list. And most of the time, like out of my 400, I don't know, probably 300, something of those were later items. But they're out of my head now and they're on paper. And then what happens is then you go after you take maybe 30 minutes and do a bunch of the Ns, get a little... start winning the battle of the brain chemicals, get the dopamine going, the serotonin, you're getting stuff done, you're moving forward. Then the bigger ones, you schedule those into your calendar, maybe you see what the next small step is again, win early, win often. And that starts to get them out of the overwhelm and get them into kind of high value, productive action. That's one thing I do. The other thing is that all entrepreneurs and business owners, most people, want to compress time. And so I do have a framework called the 30 Minutes Hour. It's how to get an hour's worth of stuff done in just 30 minutes. So sometimes I walk them through that framework as well, because if they can compress time, they're winning.

 

Wendy

Yeah, there's a lot about what you've said there that comes back to feeling in control of the situation, isn't it? And thinking is just energy, isn't it? You've got all these thoughts and they're just randomly popping in and out of your attention span... by putting them down on paper makes perfect sense because you can look and it not take up your attention of worrying about it because you've already decided how you're going to do something with it. Is it next? Is it later? Is it a big thing? But it frees your energy up to be laser focused on the tasks that you really do need to do. And there's just that feeling of striking off things off your list, isn't there? That satisfaction of done that, done that... the fact that you've gotten to the end of a list is an achievement itself. But getting into the habit of doing that on a daily basis, that's got to be where the results are coming from.

 

Blaine

Yes, you're exactly right about those open loops and all that thing that's swimming around in your head that you have to keep remembering, right? And when you get rid of those things now you've got some more room, some more capacity and you even feel better, like you said. And then also you're right about the checking off the list. A lot of times I'll ask business owners, have you ever done something and it's not on your list but you write it on your list so you could check it off? We've all kind of done that. But that gives us the dopamine that like physically shows up. You get a little square of dopamine in your brain and it feels good. Your body, your mind, it wants you to get stuff done, right? So it rewards that. So you are right. And a lot of it is how you think and what you think about you bring about and how you think makes all the difference and actually changes your reality. I call it the lens of the future. But how you say or say to yourself or how you think the prediction of the future is going to go, that is what you're going to end up creating, right? So the story I like to tell about that is let's say that I say, Wendy, look, I'm sorry but today is going to be one of the worst days of your life. And so then you go out and you're like, I don't know if Blaine's right or not. And then you're almost hit by a car and you say, wow, look, Blaine was right. I was almost hit by the car and you're shaking and you're like, oh my, what else is going to happen? And physically, brain chemical wise and physically, you get scared and you kind of get small and you're worried about the rest of the day right? Now if the same morning I said to you, Wendy, today is going to be one of the best days of your life. You're looking through a different lens but the same thing happens. You're almost hit by the car and you go, well Blaine was right. I was saved. Like, why was I saved? God still has something for me to do on this planet. I'm still here. And then you're exuberant. Now there's a little fear from the accident almost happening but right out of that you come up and you're not down, you're up. And the brain chemicals and your physiology is all like, this is a great day, what else is going to happen? Great. And so the same circumstances happened, but you created the reality based on the lens that you're looking through, and that is some of the biggest brain science and discoveries that are happening now is that you create that world based on that lens. So have you found that to be true in your...

 

Wendy

Yeah, all the time. For me it comes down to language and it can be habitual. It's conditioned what we pick up from other people. You know that saying of who you surround yourself with, if that's negative, then that brings you down. I'm a positive kind of person in the main and it's hard if you're the only positive person sort of bringing the negative people up as well. So yeah, for me it's an energy thing. Everything is around energy and if you use the wrong language, it's like saying, oh, I nearly got hit by a car, but Blaine said it was a good day. You go, my luck was in and yet, it's got absolutely nothing to do with that. So it reminds me a little bit of the Matrix movie series that literally you can design the life that you want. How badly do you want it?

 

Blaine

Yeah, agreed. And you're right about the people you hang around with. And I'm all for helping people, but I don't like maybe a third of the time I can be around people that are, let's say, at a lower frequency and have issues and I want to help them. And then a third of the time I like to be around people kind of my own energy level. And then another third of the time though, I want that higher energy. Right. I want to be kind of like you said, moving up and it can be tough. The other thing is if you're stuck in that lower energy or in that I call it head trash...

 

Wendy

It's a good term.

 

Blaine

Yeah, everybody has head trash. Now, my head trash, because I do a lot of things, is small and it's in the corner, but it's still there. And actually I do this thing called a mind shower every morning to kind of take the head trash out. But I like to tell people who are stuck with a lot of head trash that the solution to pollution is dilution. So if you ever see like if there's a liquid, a dark liquid in a beaker, the more clear water they add, it'll get less and less and less and less and soon it will be clear. What I find is the ratio is different for everybody. Like I need maybe a five to one ratio. So if I have 1 hour around negative people and bad things, I need 5 hours of positive. I got to pour in the positive to dilute down that negative. But realize that it is a bit of a battle, but like you said, what are you pouring in? Who are the people you around? What are you listening to? What are you watching? What foods are you eating? That all has energy and vibration, too. So you can really pour in so much of the higher vibration stuff that it does begin to minimize and kind of there's this little point where it'll flip over and you'll feel like you're in control of those thoughts rather than those thoughts and that negativity being in charge of you.

 

Change doesn’t happen quickly enough but stick at it because it’s worth it! (23m25s)

 

Wendy

And you're right, really. That energy, the dark water into the clear, that's like recharging a battery, isn't it? When you need to go and find some positive to sort of just, you know... and I would say that people give up too soon. You can be adding clear water in and adding positivity into that dark water. And it could just be that you're just frustrated that the change is not happening quick enough. Please just stick at it because it's worth it.

 

Blaine

Yeah, it is worth it. And realize that there's some people that will pour the dark ink back in the water, right? So you have to start to guard the inputs of your life, guard the inputs of your brain and your body. Because sometimes people don't even mean to do it. It's unconscious to them, but they are negative towards you or low energy.. so yeah keep pouring the positive and keep pouring it in big doses. I remember my favorite mentor is this guy Jim Rohn... I don't know if you remember...

 

Wendy

Yeah, I know Jim Rohn.

 

Blaine

Yeah, he's my favorite guy. I got to meet him and host him at an event one time and for him, he had this series, it's called The Power of Ambition, which I listened to on audio cassettes. Again, back to the dating myself. But I listened to that program 50 times in a row because I was at a point in my life where that's what I needed and I could finish the sentences of that program, but that's what I needed. That's what I needed to really get through some tough times. I mentioned before that I broke free from my job. But if you realize at that point we had a one year old son, I had a 50 hours week job and I started two other businesses at the same time. I mean, my marriage almost didn't make it through that year. So now we made it through that year and many others. But there are times where you got to lean into something, leaning into a mentor or whatever that positive thing is for you. But today there's so much available online and through things like Audible.com and podcasts like this, I mean, fantastic stuff that you can be pouring in that positive on a constant basis and you can do it at the same time as doing something else, right? You're driving in the car, pour in the positive. You're exercising poor in the positive, doing household chores pouring the positive. My wife and I were cleaning this weekend, and I was listening to a book on tape and just pouring in the positive.

 

Wendy

Yeah, no, Neal, the producer, he'll be laughing at this now because he basically says, Wendy, in your world, there is no room for excuses. And there isn't really, because I understand that people can get into a position or a situation and not realize that they've gotten there, but there is always something that you can do to get yourself out of that. There are no excuses.

 

Blaine

I like to say, when I lost my excuses, I found my results. That's a little quote I like to say. And you're right. And the other thing people need to be clear on is it's all about you compared to you, not you compared to other people. Now, if you want to change your happiness, you can compare yourself. Right. So if my ego is getting too big, then my wife can say, well, how much money does Oprah make every year? Okay? Yeah. I'm very small. But the opposite is also true, is if I'm feeling down, my wife can say, how many of your friends have no job and the freedom that you have. Right. In that comparison, you can regulate your happiness, but for your results, it is best to compare you to you. Right. Let's just better your best. And for me, this definition of success is kind of you moving towards your goal, whatever that is. So it's very personal, whatever that personal goal is. And if you find yourself in this situation, you can begin to move out of that situation and celebrate just maybe those first steps out of that situation. Right, so you're comparing yourself to you. So, yes, you can change direction overnight, and then you can begin to make measurable progress in a reasonable amount of time as compared to where you are. Right. And so, yeah, I think that's a valid point on happiness. And then also, no excuses for you getting better. Now you're human, so you're going to have bad days. That's right. But you just want to ride again, get back on the horse, ride again, and ride a little bit better. Figure out some way that you can ride a little bit better. So you go a little bit longer and you get a little bit closer to where you want to be and who you want to be.

 

Wendy

And like you said at the very beginning, Blaine, growing rich and success is not necessarily about numbers in a bank balance. It can be how you want to live and who you want to live that with. Your reasons why.

 

Blaine

Yes. Maslow's hierarchy of needs is there. I mean, you need a certain amount of money for food and shelter and those things, and if you're struggling there, then there's a lot of help. Right? I mean, the Internet, podcasts like this, books like Think and Grow Rich, there's a lot of resources there. But you have to take the step like you have to have the desire and then, as we said earlier, make the decision, commit to the decision, but then take some action behind that decision. Right. And when you feed the decision with action, then you're going to find out, is this really something good for me or not? And most people find that it is. And then they start moving forward. And then it's funny that when you start moving forward, it's kind of a little slow and slogging in the beginning, but as you get out of the mud and you get out of that and you start to go faster and faster and faster, typically then things start to move really fast. That's exciting as I see that in people when they adopt, say, a new habit and then all of a sudden now everything else in their life is kind of taking off.

 

Wendy

It is just about making that start. If you make the start, you're already ahead of where you were.

 

Blaine

Yes.

 

Blaines’s conversation that counts (30m13s)

 

Wendy

It seems only right, really, at this juncture, to ask you about a conversation that created a turning point for you. I've got a feeling that it may link to what you were talking about with your career change and things like that, but you might surprise me because of course I never know what's coming next.

 

Blaine

That's exciting.

 

Wendy

So what was that one conversation that changed your life either for business or for personal?

 

Blaine

It started as a conversation and changed my life. And that was actually Jim Rohn. And so Jim Rohn, a friend of mine, introduced me to Jim Rohn and then I was able to actually host him at an event I was running. And I got lucky because he had a house in the Phoenix area and this event was in Phoenix and he happened to be there. So it was very easy for him to come to this event. And so he came to that event and I got to hear him and share the stage with him. But the things that he said that evening had a big impact on me. Right. And one of the things he says is it's not what happens that determines your life future, it's what you do about what happens. And that was the beginning of kind of the lens conversation as well. But he said that, so it's not what happens that determines your life future, it's what you do about what happens. And I realized in that moment, I realized that I didn't have to worry about circumstances, the economy, the pandemics, and all these different things that's going to happen to everybody actually. But it's my response to what happens that determines the outcome of my life and my businesses. And then he went on to say the other thing he said that night was don't wish it was easier, wish you were better. And I was like, Whoa, that was big. Don't wish for less problems, wish for more wisdom. And he just got me to switch it to see that praying and begging for things to be better or easier, that was just going to fix the thing one time. If I increased my wisdom and I got better, that's going to increase everything for the rest of my life. And so that started me on a nice trajectory. But it was that conversation that night with Jim Rohn that I think led me to this course of becoming the Chief Results Officer. Now, having the time to do that with my son. Having the inputs was the "Think and Grow Rich" book. But it was that conversation that night. He also said, profits are better than wages. And I was like, oh, poof, I've got to do more of my own business. So that was it.

 

Wendy

Wow. I know, previous guest Brad Sugars, he was influenced by Jim in a big way, and he talked about that on the show as well. Isn't it interesting, because we've already kind of touched on this, that just by switching your language out just changes the end results of what you want to be creating.

 

Blaine

Agreed. And a couple of years ago, I read this one book called The One Thing by a guy named Keller, and in there he said and some people say different ways he says, when you argue for your limitations, you get to keep them. It was just that language right there. That's where I realized, now, wait a second, let me say that again. Let me hear that for real. When you argue for your limitations, you get to keep them. And so what happened is that was the trigger for me kind of processing my own language, right? So if I start to say, I'm too old, I'm too this, I'm too that, I can't this, I can't that, won't all that almost negative kind of self talk. And it was on big things and small things, I realized it was almost like the predefeated mind, I'm never going to try that thing, because I've just accepted that limitation. And then I started hearing that language in other people, and now I can't go anywhere without hearing people arguing for their limitations all the time. But it's gotten so good in our family or in some businesses, masterminds that I work with, they'll say, oh, now Blaine is going to say you're arguing for your limitations there. But that consciousness around what you say is so big, and that can be kind of that pivotal point in your life, is when you start to listen to and process that self talk. That's big.

 

Wendy

Yeah. Awareness. Self awareness. It can be a real driving force... or not. Well, thank goodness for Jim Rohn. Honestly. Thank you, Blaine, for sharing your story and so many different productivity hacks that we can apply to our own business and go away. I'm going to just go and sort out my mind trash later. I got to do another dump.

 

Blaine

And I will say, look... on the head trash. The thing that has helped me the most and my clients is really that concept of the mind shower. Meaning like most people take a physical shower every day, but how often do you take a Mind Shower where you kind of wash out your mind and take out the head trash? Now there's apps. I use an app called Headspace, kind of a meditation breathing app, but I do that every single day. And I've done that now because the app tracks like 1500 days in a row. I've done this Mind Shower, just a little thing like that. Now I like a ten minute Mind Shower, but if I don't have time, I'll do a three minute Mind Shower. But doing that, I do that first thing in the morning, every morning. And that's made a big difference because I feel like at the beginning of the day, I'm kind of taking control of my mind showering it out, cleaning it out a little bit, but then also getting that lens ready for the day to make the most from the day.

 

Wendy

Yes, it fits with your computer science background as well. It's almost like you're defragging the system and every day just hit reset. And then that head trash writing everything down in such a big overwhelm. It's not going to be that big anymore, is it? Because you've already got a handle on it, right?

 

Blaine

Agreed.

 

Wendy

I've had an absolute blast. I know who to reach out to now when I need either some head trash or a Mind Shower. Thank you.

 

Blaine

I have thoroughly enjoyed this and I just want to take a moment to thank you. This is not easy to put all this stuff together and put it online and you have a big results ripple, queen of conversations here. You have a big results ripple and I will bet that you are touching lives not yet born that somebody 20 or 30 years from now is going to find this stuff and it's going to make a difference. So I want to congratulate you on that and leave you with this. That the bad news. The bad news is time flies. The good news, you're the pilot. So pilot well.

 

Wendy

Thank you. I've got to go and cry now.

 

 

Want to listen to the audio version? In a place with limited downloads?

Click here to listen to a lower bandwidth version of the full episode:

Blaine Oelkers– lower bandwidth version

TL;dr - want the episode summarised in one paragraph, and in your own language? Here is it.

ENGLISH: “I’ve probably watched it fifteen, twenty times by now, but because it’s weird how I feel like I can remember June telling the story as I’m watching the movie. I remember hearing it virtually almost four decades earlier watching the events, and I’m just like shaking my head. At the end. They make it look like Ray took advantage of the whole thing with the percentages that they were supposed to get. A percentage never happened. There was no dialogue on it. They never went to court…”

ARABIC:

ربما شاهدته خمسة عشر أو عشرين مرة الآن ، ولكن لأنه من الغريب أنني أشعر أنني أستطيع أن أتذكر يونيو وهو يروي القصة وأنا أشاهد الفيلم. أتذكر أنني سمعتها فعليًا قبل أربعة عقود تقريبًا وأنا أشاهد الأحداث ، وأنا فقط أحب هز رأسي. في نهايةالمطاف. لقد جعلوا الأمر يبدو كما لو أن راي استغل كل شيء بالنسب المئوية التي كان من المفترض أن يحصلوا عليها. نسبة مئوية لم تحدث قط. لم يكن هناك حوار حول ذلك. لم يذهبوا إلى المحكمة قط.
 

SPANISH: Probablemente la he visto quince, veinte veces hasta ahora, pero como es extraño cómo me siento,
puedo recordar a June contando la historia mientras veo la película. Recuerdo haberlo escuchado prácticamente casi cuatro décadas antes viendo los eventos,
y estoy como sacudiendo la cabeza. Al final. Hacen que parezca que Ray se aprovechó de todo con los porcentajes que se suponía que debían obtener.
Un porcentaje nunca sucedió. No hubo diálogo al respecto. Nunca fueron a juicio…”.

 

FRENCH: “

Je l'ai probablement déjà regardé quinze, vingt fois, mais parce que c'est bizarre ce que je ressens, je me souviens de June racontant l'histoire pendant que je regardais le film. 
Je me souviens de l'avoir entendu presque quatre décennies plus tôt en regardant les événements, et j'ai juste envie de secouer la tête. 
À la fin. Ils donnent l'impression que Ray a profité de tout cela avec les pourcentages qu'ils étaient censés obtenir. 
Un pourcentage n'est jamais arrivé. Il n'y avait pas de dialogue là-dessus. Ils ne sont jamais allés au tribunal.

.

GERMAN: “Ich habe ihn mir jetzt wahrscheinlich fünfzehn, zwanzig Mal angesehen, aber weil es komisch ist, wie ich mich fühle, kann ich mich daran erinnern, dass June die Geschichte erzählt hat, während ich den Film sehe. Ich erinnere mich, dass ich es fast vier Jahrzehnte zuvor praktisch gehört habe, als ich die Ereignisse beobachtete, und ich schüttele nur den Kopf. Am Ende.

Sie lassen es so aussehen, als hätte Ray das Ganze mit den Prozentsätzen ausgenutzt, die sie bekommen sollten. Ein Prozentsatz ist nie passiert. Es gab keinen Dialog darüber. Sie gingen nie vor Gericht.”

HOW TO CONTINUE MAKING CONVERSATIONS COUNT…

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Sudhir Kumar

Episode 46 – Sudhir Kumar

Sudhir Kumar is an expert in social selling to grow your business, he’s written a book ‘Being Human: Marketing & Social Selling in a Digital World’.

Episode 47 – Ann Page

Ann Page is a lawyer who helps other lawyers with her courses. She teaches valuable business skills and teaches the importance of avoiding jargon.

Joe Chatham networking

Episode 48 – Joe Chatham

Joe Chatham set up USA 500. It’s an exclusive member-based organization focusing on sharing his expertise in marketing relationships and networking.

Larry Long Jnr

Episode 49 – Larry Long Jnr

Larry Long Jnr is a sales coach that helps give people, teams, and organizations the motivation to go from good to great.

pete cann laughter man

Episode 50 – Pete Cann

Larry Long Jnr is a sales coach that helps give people, teams, and organizations the motivation to go from good to great.

Hear what people are saying about the show

I love this podcast. The guests you have on all bring something new to the conversation and definitely thought-provoking.

Sometimes this means I change something I do, or something I would say, and other times it’s a real opportunity for reflection.

Thanks for sharing your guests with us Wendy, the podcasts are brilliant.

Paula Senior

I always enjoy listening to Wendy’s Making Conversations Count podcast and admire her talent for drawing out people’s stories and getting to the heart of things for finding out what makes them tick.

We all have pivotal moments and Wendy manages to find the right parts, showcasing the reasons why someone is who they are.

It’s those details that we connect to and come to more understanding of why people do what they do.

Heidi Medina

Love this podcast series. It’s a great idea to have a theme of ‘pivotal conversations’ and the variety of guests from massively different backgrounds keeps it fresh and interesting.

Wendy is a natural host and makes people feel at ease to share their stories.

Andrew Deighton

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